The Beauty in Brokenness

It's March 25, 2013 today. 

5 years to the day that Adam Carter passed away and my life broke. I was broken then and I'm broken now. But it's a beautiful brokenness. 

It's hard for me to feel sorrow when I think of him. Its hard for me to continue to mourn when he brought me such joy. Its hard for me to see all God has done in my life through his legacy and still be sad. Maybe thats wrong. 

But I choose to see beauty in the brokenness.

God's brought so many blessings to me through the pain of losing Adam, and He's not done yet. 

I'm at Urban Life, living with 4 other girls in an apartment and working as a team day in and day out. It isn't hard to notice when any one of us is a little off. When any one of us slips up. And its all in intentional community which makes you want to mask it all a little more than usual. We're all believers here, we can't have struggles, right?

Wrong. We bond in that. We, as a body, are broken and the only way we can be healed and bring Jesus into the center of our relationships is to be broken together and to receive His grace together. By HIS wounds, we are healed. And tonight I got to walk through that. I got to sit with my roommate, my sister, my fellow believer in Christ, and experience healing - in her, in me, and with Jesus. There isn't a praise high enough or loud enough for this moment. She laid out on the floor and confessed her struggle. The storm we've been trying to pray her through for a while, she was ready to surrender, and she was ready to heal. 

Her strength in acceptance of healing brings me to my knees. If I had only known what she knows sooner, how much pain I could have saved myself agonizing over Adam. If I had only stopped trying so hard to be strong and to work through the depression and to fix it myself, if I had only relied on Jesus to heal me right where I was. If I had only believed that He could sooner... But it comes now. In His perfect timing. And as I lead her through the processing of healing I'm preaching more to myself than to her. Thank you Lord for speaking beauty into my brokenness.

And 2013 years later on a Sunday that brought such rejoicing and acknowledgment that Jesus Christ is King so many years ago, we too bow to Him. We too lay out clothes and palms for Him to walk on. We too go after him and accept his teachings - we too begin this journey toward resurrection. His timing is impeccable, and I can't comprehend the gift He's bestowing on two roommates in Charlotte, NC this Easter season. Thank you Lord for allowing us to begin a journey to healing through this Passion Week. Thank you that we get to have a small small taste of dying to ourselves, to be raised to life in Your Son Jesus. Thank you for the sacrifice you made, Jesus, so that we may freely receive this grace and healing from our Father. Thank you that we hear your voice, and that we are experiencing Easter in a whole new way this year. Thank you for sending your son, to tell The The Greatest Story Forever Told. 

"To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified." - Isaiah 61:3

All In A Day's Work

I made a comment today about how Urban Life isn't a job.
It wasn't well received - likely due to the place the comment had come from - which was my low-key saltiness at the brainstorming I've been having to do about what I'm "actually" going to do with my life, post Urban Life.
I don't want to be a ministry intern that comes out of her internship and falls flat on her face when suddenly removed from the environment where my passion for the last year thrived so easily.
But then I also don't want to be the intern that lets this one year of my life be "That One Year" that I truly lived for Christ, that forever lives in infamy as I strive towards recreating it.
In fact, to be honest I don't really know what I want after Urban Life, but I know who I want to be when this year winds down; And that is a woman of God who accepts the time I had with gratitude, and looks toward the future with hope in God's plan for my life.
God has been showing me all day that this lifestyle I get to live of living, breathing, serving Christ is a job and I'm uncovering what the gravity of my gratitude needs to look like.
My job description is basically to serve Jesus.
Day in and day out devoting all my time to ground-level ministry.
I have the opportunity to literally live out the Bible; To step outside my front door and feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the lacking, visit the sick, defend the fatherless and the the widows and to love them all with the love that Christ first gave me.
This is what "going to work" looks like for me.
5 months ago I had a passion for volunteering but no one to serve with me and no knowledge of events to serve at, this morning as an Urbanite we went to a Give Fifty One event and mentored homeless children as a team.

A year ago I was trying to learn how to pray, reading books and researching methods on how to communicate with God, today we prayed together as an Urban Life family, building each other up and interceding on each other's behalf. My prayers are growing more audacious and Holy-Spirit led every day as I learn more about my spiritual gifts and my prayer language and for the first time in my life I realize the true power of prayer.

A year ago I would have felt neighborly accomplished if I said hello to the girl who lived in the apartment across from mine, today I went across the street and spent 2.5 hours talking and listening to the girls home from school in the neighborhood, pouring out and being poured into. And as Shanice sat on the sidewalk in her Elevation t-shirt that she got from coming to our church for the first time this weekend, gushing about how much she loved the "Jesus concert" on Sunday, I realized that this is what being a neighbor is - its not a greeting or a pie, it's invitations and conversations and doing life together.

Just a couple weeks ago I was praying for God to move in my friends' lives. That the wonderful people that I had chosen to be a part of my life back at UNCC would experience God in their lives first-hand like I was here at Urban Life and that they would get it and turn from decisions that weren't God's best for them. I prayed for my friend Melanie in particular who was walking through a valley and trying to find the Lord in all of it, I prayed life change over her again and again and believed that the Lord would move in a huge way in her life, and I learned how to trust something into God's hands. I interceded, the cycle in her life repeated, and the Lord had me trust Him with her a little more each time. Today, Melanie showed up at my house full of grace and full of JESUS, pouring out joy to everyone she came into contact with. As she shared story after story of the life change that she's been experiencing and her courage to follow after God at every crossroads, I couldn't help but wonder at the emotion I was feeling. My heart sings! My girl is becoming a woman of God so quickly! The level she's been brought up to by living the faith she already had is nothing short of amazing! I've never been more proud and humble in my life - proud that I serve and belong to the God of restoration and life change and INCREDIBLE transformation!! And humbled in that I thought I could be the one to help her, that my solutions and my example could somehow lead her back to the path she was supposed to be walking, and I can't nor will I ever, but my Jesus can and I've now learned to trust Him to!

If Urban Life was the best job I ever have, I would be content knowing that I had the privilege of dedicating an entire year of my life to truly serving Jesus.
But that's not what God wants for me.
God doesn't want me to be content with just one year.
As crazy as it is for me to wrap my mind around, God doesn't have limits on the blessings he wants to pour out on me. There isn't just one year that He wants to bless me with a lifestyle that is centered around serving the poor and oppressed children of the world and living in a community of believers, its every year.
Although I may not have a college degree, or an impressive entry-level salary or the start of a family or a career path or anything else that the world tells me I should have by now - I know that I am not of this world.
And I will not be content to live my life at a worldly successful level.
So here's to my current job. 
Sure, it won't last forever, but for now, I'm grateful that every minute I'm awake, I'm clockin' hours for Jesus.

I've Got Some Good News

What if you had never heard of this Jesus? What if you had no idea who God is? What if you hadn't ever heard of the Bible? We have GOOD NEWS to share. Don't not share this life changing story. We are called to go out and spread the news!!

Flipping the Lens, A Look Back So Far...

            Before Urban Life, I was halfway through my junior year of college down at UNC Charlotte. I was struggling to find how to fit my new-found faith and fervent passion for Jesus Christ into the life I had just worked so hard to build up with worldly things. I had the friends, I had the social circle, I had the grades, I had the latest party invites, and I found my self having been hurled into a life of lies and deceit and trying to develop and grow my faith among all that.  I struggled to find a happy medium of trying to know who God is while still holding onto everything I had worked so hard to create for myself; after all, this was fun, wasn't it? I walked upon shaky ground for a time. I yearned to hear God say, "This is the way, walk in it" yet when I came to a fork in the road I continuously chose to go off-roading somewhere between right and wrong. I was trying. But my double life was consuming me and any chance I had of really living out my calling and walking with Christ Jesus. So the Holy Spirit led me to begin to search for alternate routes. 
On August 15^th I got an email that turned my world upside down. I got an email telling me I was officially an Urban Life intern. The bold prayers and audacious faith I had begun to discover the power of in the weeks prior led to a door opening to a lifestyle that I didn’t even think was possible. God gave me what I had believed and trusted Him for - a chance to change the world, starting in West Charlotte. Talk about grace! Now here I stand, only 3 months later, feet taller than I was on that first day when I stand up against the spiritual growth yardstick. 

            Urban Life for me has been an incredible whirlwind of answered prayer, challenges, provision, indescribable joy, surrender, learning, wooing and growth for me so far, and a few weeks back when I had an opportunity to return to University, and revisit the life I came from, that growth was apparent. As I was blessed to get to spend the day on my old campus seeing all my college friends, I had the opportunity to reflect on all that has changed .

            I started the day doing my old job, being a tour guide at UNCC; only this time I was leading a group of inner-city middle school girls from my outreach partner, Right Moves For Youth, around. Instead of droning on about academic programs I was sharing my passion for the importance of education, giving tips on financial aid and watching these 14-yr-old girls’ eyes light up at free movie theaters, on-campus salons, and an all-you-can-eat cafeteria full of more food choices in one place than some have ever seen in their lives.

            I also brought along one of my fellow tour guides, Alexis, who comes from a similar background as the girls and could relate to them in a way that no one else could. She was only there by grace as she had dropped a class that morning which made it possible for her to be present. Thank you Lord!  By the end of the hour we spent with this amazing group of young girls who had so touched her heart, Alexis was ready to sign up to volunteer with Right Moves, start a student organization centered on mentoring kids in the university area, and declare a concentration in youth upon her social work major. This girl was on fire! And I was just watching in awe as God displayed her calling out in front of her on a campus tour and all of a sudden the path it took to get her here this morning made so much sense. My friendship with her was so crucial, her job was so essential to His plan, and this chapter of my life is still affecting the relationships I established in the last chapter. Praise God! This is what Urban Life is about, and yea it might take a while to see it play out that plainly in Wesley Heights; but today, its all laid out – the goal of what we're doing here– and its amazing.

            That same day, I met up with one of my best friends from UNCC who hasn’t been the best about staying in touch since I started Urban Life. Our conversations used to be so surface level, and this time I knocked on the apartment door, told him the Holy Spirit had directed me to come talk and pray with him and got right down to it. My heart was touched by how open he was to my clumsy request and after talking through some things with me, we ended the visit by praying for each other. I loved how comfortable I was initiating prayer and leading it and letting the Spirit speak through me and call him out on some things – I recognized the growth within myself then because previously I would have taken a note in my phone and brought to God quietly alone, not daring to hold someone accountable out loud. But I’ve learned here that there is so much power in prayer, especially corporately, for Jesus said where two or three are gathered in my name, there I will be also, and I was affirmed of that when we said Amen and my friend turned to me and said, “Wow, Meg. That was a pretty powerful prayer. You have come such a long way. Thank you for caring about me enough to pray like that with me.”  

          
 I’m experiencing life change. I could have never fathomed the ways that God is pouring out his never-ending grace on me in this community and in this ministry. Urban Life is transforming me. And I’m doing my best to transform those around me. This opportunity is a once-in-a-lifetime deal, and I’m so grateful to you all for playing a role in making this possible.

#HeySandy

I had the opportunity this weekend to travel to NYC to aid in the disaster relief efforts that were being coordinated by the New York Dream Center and Hillsong Church. We left on Thursday night and traveled in a van through the night squeezed in between stacks of non-perishable food for those without power, case upon case of bottled water, all kinds of sleeping bags & blankets and our own possessions on top of all that. It was a tad crowded, but the joy we got from knowing we were going to bless people and get our hands dirty serving all weekend, coupled with the rush of adrenaline we had from our theme song mashup,  was no match for a little discomfort. We began our serving partnering with @nycdreamcenter in the projects of Chelsea, Manhattan where all the power was out for days and elderly people and others with small children were seemingly trapped up in thier apartments, some as high as 20 stories high with no heat, no water, and no way to get down due to the pitch black and occasionally puddly stairwells and non-functioning elevators. We packed food bags and brought water bottles up to all the elderly and the families that hadn't been able to get out from their homes yet all day on Friday and then offered them hot food and supplies if they needed them. Check out some footage from the afternoon!

We were incredibly blessed by the attitudes and gratitude and honor of all those around us and I felt God's abundant grace just pouring down on me as my heart and soul were refreshed from service. I used muscles I didn't know I had hauling two 5 gallon buckets full of heavy wet sand a good jaunt to the street to get it out of people's general house vicinity. I talked to people whose homes were half ruined with water, who saw their neighbors go through terrible things right before their eyes in the storm, whose entire house of possessions and years of memories sat piled in a soggy mountain out in street that used to be so quaint in Rockaway, Queens but was now ruined and ransacked and piled 3 feet high with sand from the beach and ocean. And through it all, they smiled. And they lifted each other up and they didn't dwell and they were sleeping with no heat in the same bundled up clothes they'd been wearing for days and they were inviting neighbors into the top level of their home that was still sort of okay to provide a refuge. It was insane. But it was awesome. Check out a video of us working in Rockaway!

http://urbanlifeclt.org/blog/hey-hurricane-sandy/  <-  A wonderfully articulate account of the trip

Recap: October's Fall Festival!

Urban Life hosted our 5th block party today in our neighborhood of Wesley Heights- and it was a smash hit!

We welcomed countless neighbors, mentees from our outreach partner Ashley Park Elementary/Middle School, and volunteers from Elevation Church and The Movement Foundation to come together and enjoy community at our fall festival.

We’ve been planning and preparing all month to bless our neighbors with a comfortable and welcoming environment for the festival. This week, the Urban Life apartments at The Summit House were abounding with fall themed decor ready to be used at the festival!

We made decorations, booked vendors, organized crafts and games, and devised a prize system all in the weeks leading up to today.Then we were blessed with some very talented volunteers who helped bring all our ideas into reality!

We had pumpkin donuts, kettle corn, a Green’s Hot Dog cart, cotton candy, and apple cider to sustain our neighbors as they went around the festival playing games and earning tickets to redeem at the prize table.

We even made a photo booth for families to have the opportunity to take family photos and be silly with props and costume pieces.

Watching kids run from game to game, take turns jumping in the bounce house, creating beautifully painted pumpkins and redeeming their tickets for prizes today was awesome. It was also great to be able to spend some time with the familiar faces from our neighborhood that we have established relationships with already! Isaiah came and played the hanging donut game with his friends from Ashley Park who asked as they were leaving when the next block party would be.

Looking out over the field today, as I saw games being played, heard laughter ringing loudly, smelled whafts of hot dogs and sugary cotton candy,and felt crisp fall air and warm sun shining down over all of us, I could so palpably feel Christ’s love for this community and His presence in these streets. It is such a blessing to get to do this work, and getting to spend time with our neighbors today exemplified exactly what we are all about here at Urban Life – creating relationships and loving spending time together!

I'm Rich

I'm rich!!
Today I am filthy rich.
I am not wanting.  


James 2:5 says, "Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?"

My financial situation right now may not be one to envy, and by the world's standards, I am poor. 

But tonight my heart tells me otherwise

I have the capacity, I have the resources, I have the ability to give. 

I am relationally rich. My heart is full. There is nothing more that I want than to sit and reflect on this crazy day and have my heart burst and break at the same time. 

Thank you Jesus for this day. Thank you for your grace that you pour down upon me without ceasing. Thank you for my family here and for choosing me to do this work. Thank you for a light heart burdened with injustice. Thank you for being so so good in hard times. Thank you for shining through the tough situations and the trying days and loving through it all. Thank you for opening my eyes to embrace the struggle that is so real. Thank you for never giving up on me, and drawing me nearer even when I want to turn and run from You. Thank you. 

We woke up this morning and worked out and prayed and we got ready for work, packed lunches, and prepared for the day in 28 minutes. Lord knows that a month ago I would not even step out of the house if I only had 28 minutes to get ready. Thank you for perspective changes and bad business casual outfits thrown together, and frizzy hair and smudged eyeliner and chipped nail polish and a smushed pb&j in my purse all for the sake of doing greater things.

We walk to Right Moves for Youth and on the way I recognize the 30 minutes as an opportunity to keep up some relationships from my life prior to UrbanLife. I've got to get better at that. I'm seeking those few spare minutes every day, trying to stay connected with those in my life that still love me and that I still need, while maintaining the new relationships here and creating even newer ones every day. Relationships are hard work!

We get to the school this morning and meet with the middle school girls group and one troubled girl, who usually acts tough and doesn't cooperate well acts okay in my group. Thank you Jesus. We talk about organization and how we organize our closets and then lead into the "boring" stuff - how to organize our school work. They get it, they laugh, and I walk away from our morning together feeling rich. I hit the jackpot in spending time with these girls who all have walls up and all relating to each other over how we stack our jeans and hang up our shirts. I'm ready to take on the day and pour my riches out over everyone else I encounter. 

I head in to mentor my class for the rest of the day, a 4th & 5th grade math class taught by Mrs. Morris. Her home room, "Eagles Nest," is in the room. And my heart rejoices. These are my kids, the ones who can't sit still as soon as I walk in the room, the ones who I receive 23 hugs from on their way out the door, the ones who have told me snippets of their lives and their hobbies and their families. The ones who I go to lunch and recess with and play ball and do the "washing machine" on the swing bars and tell to eat their vegetables off their lunch trays.  I love these kids. And again, I am so overwhelmingly relationally rich. Who gets to come into a school with kids this awesome who learn so quickly, whose eyes light up and smiles stretch across their entire faces when they grasp the concept of rounding?! 

Thank you Lord for your grace. Thank you for raining down these riches in relationships with incredible world changers into my life. Thank you for choosing the poor and the weak to do your work. I am continuously amazed by you Father. Thank you for giving these kids a chance, thank you for placing me in a position to speak words of life over world changers at a young age. Thank you for your guidance. 

I write a letter to Jayden who is having a bad day because he has to read at lunch due to the fact that he didn't do his literacy homework last night. He is so upset, pouting all through class almost to the point of tears. I hide the note in his binder and on his way out the door, he pulls my sleeve and smiles shyly and says, "Thanks for the note Miss Meg, I'll try." My heart. $$$$ I'm rich!!

I walk out of the school that day fulfilled. And as if my Father hasn't already poured out enough on my in this one day, the newly elected president of our middle school girls Right Moves for Youth group comes up to me with a piece of paper that she thrusts into my hands. Her progress report (interim report card) has all A's and B's and nothing but stellar comments on it. I couldn't be more proud of this girl that I barely know. Praise the Lord!